Day 17- yippee, Life seems so much sunnier and more content.  I was never super unhappy when drinking just more like an over all kind of blah.  I was trying to think about how to put it in words how I felt while doing a Spin Class that my daughter dragged me too and here… Continue reading The Descent

Last night wasn’t too bad.  I had such a headache on Day 8 that it felt like a hangover, it was a good reminder of what I don’t ever want to feel again.  Still tired but that could be because I am going to bed so late helping my daughter etc… My son had a… Continue reading Day 11 2019

Ahhh the wine witch came calling last night and brought the vodka witch with her.  My 15 yer old daughter has a lot of school work right now and thank-god my husband is a high school teacher and he helps her mostly.  Except for Spanish, I know a bit of Spanish and can muddle along… Continue reading Day 9 2019

Here we go again!  I have to say writing DAY 8 again is really putting me out of my comfort zone.  I am use to only talking about and doing things I excel in.  Apparently quitting the booze and completing my wine free challenges are not one of them.  I really want to push myself… Continue reading Day 8 2019

I always think how hard it is to give up the booze, such a struggle , such an effort, something I have to push and push and push against.  So much energy, so much thought, something I have to try so HARD at.  Hard seems so unmovable, unchangeable, impossible but anything can be changed.  I… Continue reading Hard

I was thinking the Struggle is Real ( as my kids say to me)  last night at around 6:00pm when I really wanted a drink, but the drink wasn’t quite what I wanted.  I was feeling itchy, restless, cranky and in these situations I would usually drink as it switched my mood quickly, that would… Continue reading The Struggle Is Real

As the AF days add up I always feel like exercising a bit more.  It comes more easily, probably due to the fact that I don’t need a nap like I do on my drinking days,  when my previous nights wine consumption woke me up at 4:34am and kept me awake. I use to do… Continue reading Exercise

Went out for a lovely dinner with some good friends, didn’t miss the wine at all and really enjoyed the company.  These sort of nights are easy for me, I feel engaged and don’t even think of drinking.  The hard nights for me are the ones when I am home and just want to switch… Continue reading Dinner Out

Had a terrible headache last night which woke me up at 3 A.M.  I thought it was a hangover and started to feel that familiar shame and defeat BUT I remembered I didn’t drink, so I got up, had an Advil and back to sleep I went. I slept till 10AM and I had to… Continue reading Day 12

I have been thinking about my drinking and trying to figure out what the appeal is?  It is that first drink that works for me ( sometimes) but the feeling lasts about 20 mins and I spend the rest of the night chasing it with more booze that never really hits the spot or delivers… Continue reading Day 11